No threats of self-harm or suicide If you are in crisis right now, there are professionals all over the world who are equipped to help you better than this this community is able. This includes homo/trans/etc.-phobic or sexist remarks. Posts that are immature in tone or make a sweeping, negative generalization about gay men or the "gay community" may be removed. If you want to be a grump, head to a different sub.īe thoughtful. Name calling or hostility aren't welcome. Posts should be honest questions that welcome genuine input from others.īe civil. Overly sarcastic or insincere posts may be removed. Younger men are completely welcome to fully participate as long as you're on board for keeping the discussion enjoyable to the 30+ crowd. But we are open to collaborations.” While Abhigyan says, “We could’ve gauged the questions to ask gay men but the questions would’ve been different when it comes to women.AskGaybrosOver30 is a place for supportive and friendly conversations between over 30 adults. It would be arrogant to assume we know otherwise. However, ask them if it would’ve been different if women were a part of the narrative and Prasad says, “We are just starting to understand issues faced by older gay men and no understanding of older women. This all-boy’s club had interesting perspectives to share during the documentary and are looking to arrange more shows to screen the film. Very often, people message you saying, ‘I’m paid’, I reply with ‘I’m also paid’,” he chuckles. “When people see that you’re of a certain age, a lot of them think this is the only way that I can get sex. He adds that there are also those who prostitute themselves on the app. To see an older man on the app, who is saying ‘I am still a sexual being’, makes them uncomfortable,” says Saleem, 68, who was also present at the event. They probably don’t see themselves as growing old. But, younger gay men can’t deal with ageism. There, I went on Grindr (an online dating app for LGBTQ+) when I was in my early ’60s. “I lived in Delhi before moving to Lucknow (Uttar Pradesh). Historian Saleem Kidwai speaks at the Seenagers event in Mumbai (Photo: QGraphy) But, when it came to online dating, this historian and gay rights activist faced homophobia that he had “never seen before”. Having written a book that has been in print for 20 years now, Saleem Kidwai’s Same-Sex love in India: Readings from Literature and History, is documented proof on LGBTQ+ relations from over 2,000 years of Indian literature. But today, Anand adds that he has no preference between online dating or meeting people organically. “It was a party for gay people on New Year’s eve in a Mumbai college, and it was fascinating to see so many men present,” he says. Anand Vasudevan, 54, who has been a part of Seenagers for two years now, recalls his most memorable party in the early 90’s. For most, cruising the streets of Mumbai, looking for love, was the only option. In the film, the seenagers spoke of what it was like to find a partner in the ’90s. People in their 20s talk about dying in their 40s. Everyone was so caught up on having a grand affair that they weren’t listening to me and I had no other choice,” he says, adding that he had his own fears about growing old as a gay man, but has now overcome them. Kuldeep Das, 37, the youngest volunteer of the group and curator of the film, says he had to run away from his own wedding. We want to bring them into the limelight.” Stressing on the motive of the film, Prasad says, “The current lot of older gay men are almost invisible. Questions asked to members of the group during the film ranged from their views on high fun and dating in the ’70s, to other ‘teenage-related’ subjects. To commemorate their lives, a 44-minute-long documentary titled Secrets of Seenagers by Abhigyan Mukherjee, 26, was showcased on the occasion of Republic Day in the city. Fortunately, we got seenagers who view life as the latter.” Dr Prasad Raj Dandekar, a radiation oncologist and a part of the group since its inception, says, “You can look at life as being very difficult, or you can look at it with a positive outlook.
However, focusing on the lighter side of life is what the Seenagers GupShup group - a support group for gay, bisexual, asexual, senior male ‘teenagers’- want to focus on today. Growing up in an India that saw no celebration of queer lives or amendments to the Indian Constitution that may have made them feel accepted, the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community were vastly different then as compared to today.